


If I Ask Nicely

by reigny_days



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack-ish, Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Headcanon, How Do I Tag, Humor, Hux swears and you can't convince me otherwise, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, My First Fanfic, No Smut, Out of Character, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars - Freeform, Very OOC, hux is also chill, kylo ren is chill, no idea when this is set but it's before the last jedi, personal headcanon, they're gonna do the stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22566196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigny_days/pseuds/reigny_days
Summary: Hux has friends, okay? They hang out and it's fun. Until a certain Knight discovers them. Then it's very fun.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	If I Ask Nicely

**Author's Note:**

> I don't feel like fleshing this out right now so this is what you get.

Hux had a group of friends in the First Order: Captian Phasma, Lt. Mitaka, Thanisson, KT-4692 (Katie), ZN-3748 (Zaine), JS-2648 (Jessie) and a few others. Yes, they were really friends. They often snuck out of important banquets and lame parties to hang out in one of the abandoned storage rooms. They acted like the normal teenagers they never got the chance to be: drinking, telling stories, playing stupid games, singing, and dancing. In that room they weren’t stormtroopers or officers; they were people.

Ren found them in the middle of a game of I Never (they really were teenagers). Everyone jumped up to stand at attention. Everyone except for Hux. The general remained sitting on the floor opposite to Ren, his back up against one of the trunks the crew had set up in the middle of the room-- there were four in total, as well as a bunk, all placed around an old coffee table-- and looked at Ren’s stunned and confused expression with amusement. Hux couldn’t blame him. He walked into a room to find officers and stormtroopers, who were supposed to be at the party happening upstairs, in various states of casual dress. Hux himself had discarded his clothes until he was just in a white undershirt, black pants, and no shoes. Kylo noticed his dog-tags, realizing that of course, Hux would own them; he was a general, after all. (The thought of Hux fighting in battle was interesting.)

After 30 seconds of tense silence, Hux stood and walked the short distance until he was a few feet in front of the Knight.  
“Lord Ren,” Hux thought it best to show a little respect, “could you please tell my friends to stand down? This is getting awkward.” _Friends?_ Ren thought as he told Hux’s ‘friends’, “at ease.” Everyone cautiously returned to where they were sitting-- some on the trunks, some on the floor, and two on the bunk.

__“I see you found our clubhouse- Mitaka don’t you dare take my fucking seat.” Now Ren was really confused. _I’ve never heard Hux swear before. Esteemed General Hux does not swear_ , only apparently he does. Interesting… “Care to join us?” Kylo froze. He did not like people. He didn’t get along with people, other than his knights, and was extremely socially awkward. Then again, he never got to see Hux like this: out of uniform, hair ungelled and in a bit his eyes, dog tags visible, relaxed. _ _

__

__

____"Yes,” Ren was not expecting Hux to take his hand and lead him to sit on the floor next to him. A bottle of vodka was sat on the table in front of them. Tequila was on the other side of the table. Various other drinks were scattered around the space, including a bottle of wine.  
Hux leaned over to say to Ren: “That’s Zaine’s,” and then very loudly, “because Zaine is a pretentious slut.”_ _ _ _

____“Fuck off Hux,” Zaine threw an empty bottle at Hux, missing spectacularly; it shattered behind them. Kylo braced himself for what was about to happen. If he learned one thing after being on this ship, it was that you do not, under any circumstance, disrespect General Armitage Hux. It was like signing your own death warrant, like booking a one-way trip out of an airlock._ _ _ _

____“Wow you suck,” Hux said in response to his atrocious aim. ...What? Hux picked up a glass (don’t worry it was actually plastic) and yeeted it at the stormtrooper.  
“Ow!” Hux gave a triumphant laugh and through his hands up when the glass hit its mark.  
“Take notes, kids. That is how you properly assault your friends,” the last two words were enveloped in a laugh as Hux reached for the vodka. _What dimension did I stumble into?____ _

______“What happened to the music?” Thannison asked, his words a bit slurred. Hux took a drink.  
“Hmm, I gotcha. Hold this,” Hux handed the vodka to Kylo, standing and walking left, around the table, “the fuck…..wait who’s datapad is it on?” Phasma raises hers and the general grabs it, walks back to where he was next to Ren and sits back down. _ _ _ _ _ _

______Kylo attempted to hand the bottle back to Hux who said, without looking up from the datapad, “If you’re going to be down here with us, you gotta have something. Those are the rules. It’s why Zaine only drinks wine, the pussy.” Kylo’s eyes widen, more at what Hux said than at the ‘rule’. The general seemed to have settled on a song when he looked up at Ren expectantly. The knight realized that all eyes were on him, the first time the room acknowledged him. Nervously, Kylo took a drink from the bottle. No one warned him about what it was like to drink vodka for the first time. Ren sputtered but managed to swallow it, receiving cheers from the surrounding crowd._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay, now are you guys ready?” Hux said mischievously. For what? Kylo almost said.  
“I fucking swear Hux if you play-”_ _ _ _ _ _

______**Dirty Pop...**_ _ _ _ _ _

______Various reactions followed the beginning of Pop by *n’sync. Hux just laughed as the room dissolved into chaos, leaning against Kylo. It was clear that he had done this more than once. He made eye contact with Thannison.  
**It doesn’t matter…** turns out Thannison doesn’t have a bad voice. Mitaka joins him halfway through the pre-chorus. **Do you ever wonder why** and then everyone, even the ones who were complaining when the song started, sang the chorus. The stormtroopers took the second verse. Hearing Hux sing **about the car I drive or the ice around my neck** and the rest of the pre-chorus made Kylo smile and realize that maybe, just maybe, this whole friend thing wasn’t such a bad idea._ _ _ _ _ _

______After a few songs, an intense game of I Never (“I’ve never had sex on a senior officer’s desk” “I thought we weren’t supposed to target.” Thannison drinks. “No fucking way! With who?” Mitaka drinks. “No fucking way!”) some stories and a few rounds of Truth or Dare (apparently Phasma can handle fireball like a boss. Oh and no, Hux giving a lap dance to Katie as a dare did not arouse Ren at all) the group went their separate ways. They left in pairs because a few of them were fall-down-drunk. Hux’s and Ren’s rooms were on the same floor so naturally, they left together._ _ _ _ _ _

________“I didn’t know you…” had friends? swore? skipped out on banquets to get drunk? Kylo couldn’t seem to finish the sentence. He let it sit there in the open air of the elevator.  
“Yes, Ren?” Hux was looking straight ahead.  
“Knew what fun was,” Ren decided that was the best end, for some reason. Hux hit him in the arm softly.  
“Asshole,” he laughed and looked over at Kylo. They made eye contact and something snapped. _ _ _ _

______Ren felt himself being pushed up against the wall of the elevator. He felt Hux’s mouth on his. Kylo felt his tongue in Hux’s mouth. And when they broke apart, when Hux leaned in to whisper in his ear, Kylo heard:_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Would you fuck me if I asked nicely?”_ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write smut so I'm leaving it here.


End file.
